Baby, when I said I liked a man with size in his shorts, that's not what I had in mind.
We’ve all seen at least one of these couples while strolling the mall or ‘laxing at the beach. It’s the Out Of His/Her league Couple.
You have the guy that looks like he lost all knowledge of the existence of a gym, but he’s got his sweat soaked forearm draped over some girl that looks like she just won a Maxim’s Hometown Hotties contest.
She used to date Mark Wahlberg, we swear.
Or there’s the more interesting, less common, reverse version. A guy that looks like he could be a stand-in double for Channing Tatum having the back pocket of his jeans (ie. his ass) destroyed by the sausage fingers of his girlfriend, who looks like she decided to buy all her clothes from the “Things I Fit Into When I Was Five” store, or has a face that screams Lady Gaga was here.
It’s always a wonder how these couples came to be. What immense cosmic powers, what brilliant yarns of knowledge were spun, what lavish promises of kingdoms…ok, got a bit ahead of myself there. Basically, it leaves us to ask, WTF could the 2 in that relationship have done to score that 10?
Please don’t hate on me, and say that I’m living in the past or that I wouldn’t know anything about personality, talent, yada yada yada. We have all had this thought at least once in our lives, and if you claim you haven’t, you’re either a fat faced liar, or you are in one of theses relationships, and therefore, must be keeping the secret of the Out-Of-League brotherhood tight. Good for you.
For the sake of fun, and to kill some boredom, Slick Panda has decided to list some of the more famous Out Of Their League Couples (past and present) for your viewing and bewildering pleasure. We left out the obvious ‘gold digger’ couples, because those have easy enough explanations. Enjoy…
Even Jerry is perplexed by his score.
Oh that Cox, always in character.
13. Jerry O’Connell & Rebecca Romijn – Jerry may not be that sore on the eyes, but beside the former Mrs. Stamos, he looks like he’s just there to grab an autograph from one of the world’s all time hottest models.
12. David Arquette & Courtney Cox - It’s like someone forgot to tell Courtney that they had ended filming Scream. She’s just that dedicated to her character development; she knew there was a Scream 4 coming.
11. Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston – One was a slightly talented musician, the other was probably the greatest vocalist of her generation. One looked like he got hit with a shoe in the face from the age of 3 until forever, the other was a fashion model before she became a world class singing sensation. One dragged the other into living hell. Enough said.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Love must have Ebola to need laughter this much.
10. Richie Sambora & Denis Richards - Who is Richie Sambora? Oh, I was actually asking you, sorry. Ok, he may be the lead guitarist for Bon Jovi, but that still does not explain how he landed the girl who’s boobs we all dreamed of seeing until that wonderful day… Wild Things.
9. Jamie Kennedy & Jennifer Love Hewitt – We know that guys who can make girls laugh are very attractive in their eyes, but you’re not supposed to make them laugh with your face. C’mon, Jennifer! He’s not THAT funny.
8. Vince Cassel & Monica Bellucci – True, Vince is one bad-ass dude, we love his acting skills. However, Bella Bellucci is pretty much out of every man’s league, with the exception of a George C., Johnny D., or a Brad P. Yes she is, don’t argue!
Proof that talent is...oh, it still bothers us.
He must have cast a spell over her with that stare.
7. Marc Anthony & J. Lo. – This is a fun couple because if we were basing this list on ‘talent’ and not looks, then it would be J. Lo who would be the Out-Of-League’r. But as it stands, Marc himself doesn’t understand how he landed that culo. (oh, look it up yourself, geez)
6. Paul Bettany & Jennifer Connelly – Yet another Jennifer who decided to go slumming, we guess. Not that we don’t like Mr. Bettany. His acting is top shelf. It’s just that his looks are, well, the stuff you drain from the bar rag at the end of the night. And Jennifer is, not.
5. Brian Austin Green & Megan Fox – The only way we can explain it is that Brian is the Ronald to Megan’s Cindy Mancini (for those of you who get that reference, love you!). Not to mention he hasn’t been relevant for close to 2 decades. It really begs the question: How clueless can one woman really be?
Not Ever.
It must be the touch of ginger in his face sweater.
4. Jermaine Dupri & Janet Jackson – I don’t think much needs to be said of this union. Even though she may be at the tail end of her brilliant career, and her sex appeal is not what it used to be, it still doesn’t justify this. Not ever.
3. Devendra Banhart & Natalie Portman – Ok, this one just makes us mad, and very depressed. Seriously, just f*^#ing look at this!
2. Lyle Lovett & Julia Roberts – It was talked about when it happened, in 1993, and we’ll bring it back now. Lovett was overachieving so hard that during the ceremony, Julia herself asked him “How the sh*t did you lend this?” (citation needed).
1. Macaulay Culkin & Mila Kunis- Macauly Culkin and Mila Kunis. Macaulay, Culkin AND Mila KUNIS! MACAULAY CULKIN AND MILA KUNIS!!!
It literally breaks our hearts...
Check these other great posts by PolaKanadian on Slick Panda: Remake This Movie, Hunger Games Review, Cabin In The Woods Review, Summer Box Office Predictions, Become An Astronaut, Become A Casino Host, When Music Rocked, Elvis To Bruno Mars?, Andrew Luck To The Super Bowl